Respect or Fear?
Yesterday, I came across a very interesting post on LinkedIn regarding a certain Asian Airline crash, and how the “cockpit culture” resulted in the crash. The post led to this conclusion that the younger pilot was reluctant to question the superior pilot even when it was obvious that the decisions made by the superior seemed wrong. This brings us to a bigger problem among Asians — the hierarchical culture.
We, as Asians, or more specifically as Indians, are taught to “respect”, or rather blindly obey our superiors right from a very young age. And superiors in all spheres, mind you. In schools and colleges, it’s your teachers or your seniors. In your family and personal relationships, its the older relatives and of course, the boss in your workplace. Now, while the concept of mutual respect is necessary, this sort of an upbringing or a culture shapes a generation that is simply scared to question someone who happens to be on a slightly higher social position.
There have been so many instances where I have seen children ask their parents questions out of genuine confusion and frustration. But their questions are shut out with a ‘How dare you talk back to me?’. But of course, that’s all excused with the ‘parents only want the best for you’ narrative. In schools, I have heard of teachers shutting out bright, young students by mistaking their curiosity as arrogance. Or rather, even when a teacher commits an obvious mistake, students are scared to point it out. Because, lo and behold, “How outrageous! You try and correct such an experienced teacher? How arrogant of you to assume you know better than them?”
I was lucky enough to be born in a family that did not raise me with fear for God or religion, that is, I do not ponder, whether me not going to temples, angers a certain humanised version of God. But, they ended up raising me to fear my teachers, with the “Guru Shapam” (The teacher’s curse) narrative. Each time I have disagreed with a teacher or have had arguments with them, my parents reinforced this idea on me, making me question myself and my thoughts. They would start off with the popular Indian mythological story of Karna and Parasurama, and how Parasurama’s curse (the infamous teacher’s curse) led to Karna’s eventual death in the battlefield. Again, as I write this, I am slightly scared, whether some bad luck will befall me because I have dared to question this narrative. But I have made a conscious decision, that I need to unlearn the concept of blindly listening to anyone, irrespective of their credibility or position. Because that’s not respect. That’s fear. As one of my favourite teachers once said, “Don’t blindly believe what anyone tells you, not even me. Use your rational thinking to conclude whether you want to follow it or not”.
The point I raise is not about disrespecting anyone. One should indeed respect another as a person and for their experiences. The problem I am trying to raise is with the Indian culture of “Mathru Devo Bhava, Pithru Devo Bhava, Acharya Devo Bhava”. Of course, treat your parents and teachers with respect, appreciation and care. But should we elevate them to the status of God? When you raise another person up to the pedestal of God, you are inherently saying, they can do no wrong. But, to err is human. So no matter, how experienced one may be, or how pure one’s intentions are, there is always a possibility that they could commit a mistake. And so, no, it’s not your arrogance that makes you question a superior, it’s merely your logical thinking.
Now, what can we do to correct this system that could turn out to have grave consequences like in the case of the air crash? Next time, while you explain your views to someone younger than you or someone who happens to be in a position below you in the social hierarchy, explain logically to them why you think your views are right. Make them understand what makes you insist on a particular way of doing something. Instead of trying to enforce something, explain your motive, so they have a reason to listen to you. And yes, please let go of your ego and APOLOGISE, when you find out you are wrong, irrespective of who’s at the other end.
